Note to Self:

Setting an extra alarm on your computer as a backup would probably be more effective if the computer were not on "mute."  You know, just for future reference and all.

Life is complicated. Forms are more complicated.

So, ADHD is a bitch.  Getting meds for it is worse, apparently.  The doc gave me a script yesterday, and I dutifully dropped it off at a local pharmacy.  Came back to pick it up after doing the adult thing and buying groceries for the week, and turned out the doc had written the script wrong (that particular strength didn't come in "extended release" apparently).  So, got it switched out successfully today and dropped it back off by the pharmacy.  Went back to get it, only to find out that it wouldn't be ready for at least three days because the insurance requires pre-authorization.  *sigh*  Paperwork.  Don't they know that people with ADHD don't do paperwork?  Can't do paperwork?

I can barely function at a high enough level to go to the grocery store.  I used to wonder how I got into med school when I couldn't navigate the aisles at the local convenience mart.  I mean, there I am, list in hand, but no clue where to find ANYTHING that's on the list.  So I end up walking down each aisle anyway, scanning the rows for some visual clue to the location of the item for which I was so desperately searching.  And who exactly thought it was such a grand idea to have so many product choices?  It takes me 30 minutes to choose a breakfast cereal for the week!!  The choices are simply overwhelming.

Paperwork is also overwhelming.  Recently, I filled out an application for an apartment.  It was a physical strain to concentrate long enough to remember the information and put it in the correct blank.  I finished, sweating from the rigorous mental exertion, and handed it with a proud smile to the lady behind the desk.  The first apartment application I've filled out all by myself!!  I think I'm actually becoming a responsible adult!!  My ego was quickly crushed when the lady, her eyebrows cocked suspiciously, asked me in a withering voice to "Please, sign the application.  We canNOT process the application without your signature."

Life doesn't make a whole lot of sense sometimes.  I just don't understand how it is possible for me to function at such a high level during emergency situations and simultaneously fail so miserably at the things teenagers do without problem....for instance, I am ashamed to admit how long it took me to learn to write a personal check.

To this day, I hate going to a new restaurant because I don't know what to choose.  I also don't like going to parties.  I am best with one-on-one conversations, but I can successfully handle small groups...say, four individuals tops.  After that, I get so swamped by the multitude of conversations going on around me, I can't decide which to focus on, so I usually end up staring at the wall in panic, hoping someone will come rescue me and just tell me what to do.

*sigh*  "Responsible adulthood" still seems like such an unattainable dream.  Shoot, I can't even remember to turn off the stove.

DAMNIT!!  I GOTTA GO TURN OFF THE  STOVE!

You know you're in med school when:

You put your facebook status as "I can't believe it's only Tuesday" and have 13 non-medical friends immediately comment that it is, in fact, still Monday.

You have to purchase a commercial-grade hole-punch and stapler to put your note packets together.

You a 3-in binder for a week's worth of notes, and a "largest-size-that-Staples-sells" binder to archive the notes for the 2-3wk long module.

Oh yeah, baby, isn't this the life.

Baby Rose!! ^_^

So a while back, like, this summer, my friend and I went for a hike on some DNR land.  Well...ok, technically we were going to pick blackberries.  Here's what happened.

Side note:  here is an example of how ADHD completely interferes with normal life.  I type the short paragraph above, then glance aimlessly at the shelf above my laptop as I am mentally arranging the berry-picking story.  Then I spy a bag of candies and I'm like "Ooooo!!  Chocolate!" and grab the bag.  Unfortunately, my impulsivity had already reduced this bag of chocolates to one candy.  Because I've only had the bag since Saturday's excursion to the grocery store, I am immediately stricken with guilt at consuming so much candy over the past two-and-a-half days.  I grudgingly toss the bag back upon the shelf.  Then I'm like, "Oooo!!  I'll make jello!!"  So I go to the kitchen and made jello (orange).  Then I realize that it will take 4ish hours to cool properly, but this is not acceptable.  I'm hungry and I want my snack now!  So I rip open a box of breakfast bars like a feeding she-bear, and pour myself a glass of tea.  I finally make it back to the laptop...but my 10-minute "study break" was over a long time ago.  *Sigh*  

I'll return to the berry-picking story at my next study break.

Later!

ANTS!!

Day before Yesterday, I decided to relax for a few minutes and enjoy a lemonade Italian Ice while sitting in my chair outside on the patio.

Two things happened.

1. I forgot to take the lid off and throw it away while I was still inside.
2. I forgot that I tucked the lid behind me in the seat of my chair, and left the lid outside.

Yesterday, I decided to relax for a few minutes while sitting in my chair outside on the patio.

Two things happened.

1. I forgot that I tucked the lid behind me in the seat of my chair, and I sat in my chair.
2. ANTS!!!  Literally, in my pants.

Today, I've been killing ants all day long...I swear I shook my clothes out but apparently, not well enough!  Three in my bathroom earlier, one just now on my bed.  FML.


Later!

Tuesday

So, today is Tuesday.  2nd day of 2nd year.  Class wasn't too bad...actually I really like the prof doing the immunology lectures.  There should TOTALLY be a mandatory class for new-and-returning-med-school-lecturers that covers 1) How to prepare a handout, 2) How to make a powerpoint, and 3) How to make lecture interesting.  And, this immunology dude should TOTALLY teach it!!

Then, I came home because I don't have afternoon class today.  (We have "afternoon class" three days a week.  Yesterday, my friend and I were walking across campus discussing how the admissions office lured us in with statements like: "Oh, yeah, here at Medical College, we have class from 8-12am, so you have all afternoon to study!!"  And poor innocents that we were, we swallowed it, hook-line-and-sinker.  Well, I'm here to tell you that this was all LIES!!!  We have "mandatory group activities" from 1-5pm!!  Three days a week!!   I don't care what fancy label they plaster on the schedule, it's still class!!)

Where was I?  Oh yeah, I came home early because I don't have afternoon class today.  So then I was all:  "I'm gonna print off tomorrow's lecture packet and study and be prepared!" Some people call that "being a gunner."  I call it "sheer desperation."

So I logged on and downloaded the lecture packet and clicked print.  And Printer dutifully shot off a few pages...and then I heard the ominous beep. 

"Out of Paper"

Well, Printer was definitely NOT out of paper.  It was really a paper jam, but Printer was trying to shift the blame.  "Hey!  It's not my fault I can't print your stupid document!  You didn't feed me paper!!...oh...uh...just kidding...it's uh...kinda stuck in my middle somewhere...."

 Not sure where I was going with that.  It sounded hilarious in my head when I started the story.

In other news, I'm really proud of myself for going to the gym before class, two days in a row.  :-)



Later!